Commentary: Guardians offense ... certainly is offensive

The question shouldn't be why is the Guardians' offense so bad? The better question is how can the Guardians be this good with an offense that bad? Granted, the Guardians so far aren't very good. But everything is relative and, despite having a losing record at the start of play Wednesday, the Guardians were somehow in second place in the American League Central Division, only two games behind Minnesota. The Twins are no ball of fire themselves. At the start of play Wednesday, they were in first place in the division despite being last in the majors with a .219 batting average. But enough about mediocre division leaders. Let's move on to mediocre second-place teams. At the start of play Wednesday, the Guardians were last (15th) in the American League in runs scored, runs per game, home runs with 19 (11 fewer than No. 14 Detroit), last in RBI, last in slugging percentage, last in OPS, second last in batting average and on base percentage. Wednesday at Progressive Field, the Slugging Smurfs were held to four hits and no runs in an embarrassing 5-0 loss to Detroit that was so inconsequential and uncompetitive that it was over in 121 minutes. "We had a bunt hit, an infield hit, a flare, and a groundball to right," Boss Guardian Terry Francona said. "We didn't do a whole lot." That's become a recurring theme for Tito's Kids — offensively, anyway: lots and lots of not doing a whole lot. Should we be surprised? Not really. Wednesday, the No. 5 hitter in Cleveland's lineup was 27-year-old rookie David Frye, who was appearing in his third career game. Four of the nine hitters in the Guardians' starting lineup had batting averages of .222 or lower. The number five through nine hitters had a combined total of three home runs this season. It almost resembled a spring training lineup. The Guardians were basically trying to win a regular season game using an irregular lineup, including starting pitcher Peyton Battenfield, who's next major league win will be his first. Worse yet, there are currently no position players on Cleveland's injured list. In other words, the cavalry is not on the way. At least, not anytime soon. For the time being, this is what His Titoship has to work with when he sits in his office each day, trying to cobble together a lineup. One of those cobblestones is catcher Mike Zunino, a solid professional in his prime who is now far from it. Zunino was a rare Guardians offseason free-agent signing. Thirty-seven games into the 2023 season, it's become apparent why Zunino was a free agent. He looks finished. Two years ago with Tampa Bay, he hit 33 home runs, was on the all-star team and got some MVP votes. Thirty-seven games into the 2023 season, Zunino makes Guardians fans yearn for the heyday of Austin Hedges. Zunino is hitting .179, leads the league in passed balls (4) and has only thrown out five of 28 attempted base stealers. The Bo Naylor vigil continues. Cleveland's other significant offseason free agent addition was first baseman Josh Bell. The traditionally financially cautious Guards almost had to empty their piggy bank to sign Bell to a two-year, $33 million contract. Four years ago, Bell belted 37 home runs for the Pirates. This year he's hitting .219 — 41 points below his career average — and has only three more homers than David Frye. Counting Wednesday's goose egg, the Guardians have been held scoreless in five of their first 37 games, which, barely a month into the season, puts them almost halfway to last year's season total of 12. If my math is correct (which it rarely is) that puts them on a pace for being shutout 20 times for the season. So we've got that to look forward to. Remember the good old days when the Guardians owned the Tigers? From 2016-21 the Guardians' record against Detroit was 77-27. Counting last year and so far this season, the Guardians' record against the Tigers is 12-13. If that doesn't set off some sort of internal organizational alarms, it should. For now, Cleveland's front office seems content to continue to collect and develop middle infielders while drafting college pitchers they target as candidates after sitting at the feet of the organization's pitching professors for increased velocity. That's all well and good, and the next arrival in the station could be a locomotive named Gavin Williams. But divisions, pennants and World Series are won not just by preventing runs but by scoring them. Last year the Guardians' little pea shooter offense and robust pitching was able to hunt and peck its way to 96 wins, counting the postseason. The pitching should be good enough again this year, even if some of it is traded for what this contender desperately needs: A couple noisy bats. Contact Jim Ingraham at jingraham4@gmail.com.